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A post to get out what's in my head

When I met you, you seemed impossibly quiet and aloof, then I found out you were just shy but had the most beautiful smile whenever we managed to see it.

Later came the heartache and the frustrations, the trying to protect you from yourself and from others. The knowledge that you were indeed a tortured soul in need of love.

You were loyal and kind, frustrating and late. You drove us around and let us practice our gear changes in your Nova and what fun we had 4 girls “driving one car”. You steered and braked and between us other 3 we did signals, gear and handbrake!

You introduced me to many bands and authors I’d never heard of, way before they went mainstream, introduced me to aspects of France I’d never have found on my own. I still can't think Douglas Coupland without thinking "Hello Jed."

Couldn’t buy cutlery sets because they contained knives and we didn’t have any ID.

Came in and out as your mood dictated and harmed yourself in ways I couldn’t appreciate until later. I wish you could have seen yourself through my eyes. I wish I’d had half of your courage and strength to remain outside the box and try so many things while the rest of us settled down and moved on. I won’t say grown up as I’m not sure that’s true! Not for you, or for me!

It seems so unfair your light has gone out already, 30 is no age and I am truly going to miss you. Rest in peace Madame Jenny - and no I still don't know why you were Madame and not Madamoiselle .

Je t'aime et tu me manques - toujours et tous les jours.