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White Noise

My head is full tonight. Not sure where this entry is going to go but I just have the urge to write and the need to empty my head. If I was at home and I felt like this I'd go for a drive or work out or etc but Im at the in laws and such things would probably cause a commotion. Also in this rather large house of glass I'm not sure I want the entire street to see me shaking about.

I know it's the news about poor Marie Helene that has got me shaken up. 31 is too young to die and to go in such a manner is beyond awful. I want to do something to show Pascal I care and so I'm going to follow Ann's suggestion and write a little card for Sarah Jade but what to write?

Your mum was wonderful, I should have made more effort to keep in touch? I know that's not how life works and people come in and out of our lives whether we mean to let things slip or despite how hard we try. But!

What exactly to write? It feels like all my memories are so tiny compared to other people's or that I can't put them out there with enough reasonance to get my point across.

She was kind and gentle and graceful in the sense of always holding herself above other people's nonesense. She made me feel welcome and less alone in a foreign place. SHe made it easy for me to fit in and be welcomed after the nightmare of the previous assistant. She was beautiful in such an innocent and fragile way that I simply can't explain it.
Looking at her pictures now reminds me of her warmth and how her eyes always held such light and how for someone so good she could look so mischevious!

It really is only the good that die young. I feel so sorry for Pascal, they've been together since they were 15/16 and so for his entire adult life he has had her by his side and now he's 31, not at all old by any imagination and with a new baby and alone.
And we're supposed to write something that even takes the edge of that? I don't think any of us even know such words.